Hi. My name is Olivia and I’m a yesaholic.
Yeah let me explain.
I’m prone to saying yes to everyone. I don’t like letting people down and a lot of the time I’ll push my own sanity aside to make sure I don’t. It’s safe to say I’m a bit of a people pleaser.
But something that we all have to grasp is:
It is ok to say no
This is something I had to learn while at Pepperdine University. It is widely known that Pepperdine students are notorious for being overcommitted.
Everybody wanted to help each other out on projects, volunteer for this charity, speak at this event, preform for this philanthropy, hang out with this group of friends, drive that roommate to the airport… and on and on and on.
Nobody really knew how to say no. And I was definitely one of them.
But recently I’ve gotten a whole lot better at this. Because I realized something, if I don’t take care of my own priorities first I put unnecessary stress on myself. And who in their right mind would want to add stress to their life??
Once I’m sure that I can finish my own obligations my time is open for everyone and anyone who needs my help. Because that’s just the kind of person I am, I like to help.
Saying no can be tricky if you’re not used to it. So I’ve come up with a little strategy to start learning.
When someone asks you to do something you have to ask yourself three things:
- Do I have time to spare for this?
- Do I want to do this?
- Even if I don’t want to do this, should I?
The first question is the most important. If you don’t have time to spare for something, don’t go and say yes. Because you’re either going to end up letting them down, or completely flaking on another priority that directly affects your life.
The second question is something I struggle with all of the time. I feel like I have to make sure to be a good friend. But whether that’s spending time with someone, helping them with a task, or just lending them something, you have to put your wellbeing first. If you have friends that want you to go out, but you’ve had an extremely tasking week, and all you want to do is go to bed. Then GO TO BED.
There’s no sense in sacrificing your health and mental clarity for that. Go out another time when you’re well rested. You’ll end up being more fun to be around anyway.
Finally, sometimes even if you don’t want to do something, you really should do it anyway. But make sure that’s the case before you agree to do something you truly don’t want to.
You gotta do what’s right for you. You know?
I’m all for helping someone out. But there comes a time when you just have to say no. People will understand.
And if they don’t, they’re selfish.
But that isn’t your problem, so please don’t feel bad.
How do you go about saying no to people?